Return Us to You

Shabbat Shalom Beloved.

This teaching was given on Shabbat Chazon, the Sabbath of Vision. It is the Shabbat directly before the ninth of Av, and it takes its name from the first word of the haftarah, the vision of Isaiah.

Shabbat is a day of celebration and joy. But on Shabbat Chazon that joy is reduced. It is a somber Shabbat, and it carries one of the most devastating haftarahs of the year. Isaiah hammers on Judah and Jerusalem. He confronts their rebellion as children, their failure to recognize G-d, their moral corruption, their corrupted worship, their unanswered prayers, their corrupt leadership, and their betrayal of their covenant calling.

Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth: for Adonai has spoken, I have nourished and brought up children, and they have rebelled against me. The ox knows his owner, and the donkey his master's crib: but Israel does not know, my people do not consider. Ah sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, a seed of evildoers, children that are corrupters: they have forsaken Adonai, they have provoked the Holy One of Israel unto anger, they are gone away backward.

Isaiah 1:2–4

And it continues on. It is not gentle.

But G-d doesn't leave it there. He offers a pathway back. A way home. A way to return. The haftarah closes on this:

Zion shall be delivered with justice, and her returners in righteousness.

Isaiah 1:27

The root word in "returners" is shuv, which means return. It is the root of the word teshuvah. And in Isaiah 1:16–18, G-d gives us a blueprint for return, or repentance, which is the other way teshuvah gets translated into English.

That is the focus of this teaching. Teshuvah.

What We Were Taught

If I were to say repentance, or if I were to say I need to repent, what comes to mind?

Many of us were taught some variation of recognize, regret, resolve.

These things are internal. They can all happen inside your head.

But Hebrew is an action language. We know that a word like shema is not merely "listen." It means hear in order to do. So with teshuvah, we should also look for the external application.

What Return Doesn't Look Like

The Torah portion gives us an example of failed repentance. The context: Moshe is retelling the story to the second generation. He has just told of the sin of the spies and the judgment, that the first generation will die in the wilderness.

Then ye answered and said unto me, We have sinned against Adonai, we will go up and fight, according to all that Adonai our Elohim commanded us. And when ye had girded on every man his weapons of war, ye were ready to go up into the hill. And Adonai said unto me, Say unto them, Go not up, neither fight; for I am not among you; lest ye be smitten before your enemies. So I spake unto you; and ye would not hear, but rebelled against the commandment of Adonai, and went presumptuously up into the hill.

Deuteronomy 1:41–43

They recognized the failure, and they resolved to go to war, trying to fix it themselves. But they still didn't obey. Their back was still towards G-d.

Verse 45 says that after they were defeated and driven back, they returned and wept before Adonai, but He would not listen. He would not hear them. The word "they returned" is our teshuvah word. But the irony is that they didn't return in obedience. They were driven back through suffering.

Tragedy often drives us back to G-d. Unfortunately, it is far more painful than obedience.

Restore and Resist

One of the great commentators, Maimonides, the Rambam, teaches on this in his laws of teshuvah. He teaches the external applications. From his lessons we can add two more steps to our list.

When the same test returns and you choose differently, the inward return has become visible in your actions. The Rambam calls that complete teshuvah.

An example. Say my vice is the five finger discount, and I am standing in a convenience store. There are no cameras and no one is around. That is exactly when I would have helped myself. The desire may even rise up. But I resist it, and I walk out of the store without stealing. The return is no longer only in my head. It is in my feet.

I Did Wrong, Not I Am Wrong

I have been spending a lot of time studying this and meditating on it, because of my children. They are reaching an age where they are beginning to understand and handle these foundational concepts. What I teach them matters. I could damage their relationship with G-d.

I don't want my children to develop a fear of consequence instead of a fear of G-d. The thing I am trying to teach them is to love G-d with all of their heart. To be in awe of Him, not afraid of Him.

Some months back I was catching up with a childhood friend, and we got to discussing how amazing it is to see children raised in a G-dly home. How pure and innocent they are. Then he told me a story about his preteen daughter. She had recently become convicted of her sin. She hadn't been herself for several days, and when they finally asked her about it, she broke down weeping. She confessed that she was a sinner, that she had betrayed G-d and her family.

He became very concerned. As parents we go straight to the worst possible thing. So he started asking questions. And what came out was this: several years earlier she had done something she was embarrassed about, and when a sibling asked her about it, she denied it.

Two things stood out to me from that story. First, she had recognized and regretted, but she had no path forward beyond that. No one had given her the rest of the blueprint. Second, she had slipped from "I did wrong" into "I am wrong." She lost hold of her identity as a child of G-d.

Her father helped her pray, reassured her that she had not betrayed her family, and reminded her that G-d loved her. But the story has stayed with me, and it sharpened what I am working to give my own children.

Proverbs 22:6 says to train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. That is not a promise that they will never stray when they are young. It is a promise that they will know the road.

Return Without Sin

Here is something important to keep in mind. A need for teshuvah doesn't always come from a place of sinning. Sometimes we need to return because we have drifted. We got lukewarm. We got busy with work, with school, with life, and the next thing we knew, G-d had taken a back seat.

An example of this is the prodigal son. He asks for his inheritance, his father gives it, and he leaves. He drifts. He wastefully spends everything, and he ends up suffering. There is an accusation of harlotry in the story, but it comes from an accuser. The narrator never names a Torah command that he broke. What we do know is that he felt the full weight of the separation.

And watch what he does. He recognizes the separation. He regrets it. He resolves to fix it. Then he acts. He moves from internal to external. He physically returns to his father and plans to restore what he squandered by working as a servant.

But notice what he lost in the process. He lost hold of his identity as a son. "I am no more worthy to be called your son." He slipped from "I did wrong" to "I am wrong," the same slip my friend's daughter made.

Even though he doesn't feel worthy, he returns. Picture him on that road. His clothes are dirty. He smells like the pigs. He is starved, fragile, broken hearted. And while he is still a long way off, his father sees him and runs. Wraps his arms around him. Kisses him. Weeps on his shoulder. Puts clean clothes on him and restores his sonship. This son of mine who was dead is now alive.

The Pattern of Ephraim

You have heard me say it before: the prodigal son fits the pattern of Ephraim, the Northern Kingdom. This is one of the places I see it. Listen to these words and see if you see it too.

I have surely heard Ephraim bemoaning himself thus; Thou hast chastised me, and I was chastised, as a bullock unaccustomed to the yoke: Cause me to return, and I will return; for thou art Adonai my Elohim. Surely after that I was turned, I repented; and after that I was instructed, I smote upon my thigh: I was ashamed, yea, even confounded, because I did bear the reproach of my youth.

Jeremiah 31:18–19

Doesn't that sound like the son coming to himself in the far country? And verse 20 is the Father's answer:

Ephraim my dear son, a pleasant child. For since I spoke against him, I do earnestly remember him still: Therefore My heart longs for him; I will surely have compassion on him, saith Adonai.

Jeremiah 31:20

Cause me to return, and I will return. There is our shuv word, twice in one breath. Ephraim recognizes the need to return, and he recognizes that he cannot do it alone. And there is the heart of the Father, running down the road toward His son.

Return Us to You

On the ninth of Av, Judah prays that same prayer.

Return us to You, O HaShem, and we shall return; renew our days as of old.

Lamentations 5:21

On Tisha B'Av, Judah sits on the floor in near dark, fasting and weeping. Weeping for the sin of the spies. For the destruction of both temples. For the baseless hatred between brothers. For the exile, and for everything that has caused division within the family.

The Book of Lamentations is read from cover to cover. It is prayed. It is wept. But the reading does not end on the last verse. In a reading with a harsh ending, the destruction does not receive the final word. The congregation goes back and reads 5:21 a second time. Return us to You, O HaShem, and we shall return.

The Blueprint

Jeremiah 31 is a humbled people. Lamentations is a humbled people. Isaiah chapter 1 brings the charges. But it also brings a blueprint for return. For teshuvah.

Wash you, cleanse yourself; remove the evil of your doings from before my eyes; cease to do evil; learn to do well; seek justice, strengthen the oppressed, defend the orphan, plead for the widow. Come now, and let us reason together, saith Adonai: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

Isaiah 1:16–18

In this reading we can see two movements. An internal movement, which is the turning around. And an external movement, which is the return back towards G-d. We can also find our steps of teshuvah. One caution first: I don't want to read into the text what it doesn't plainly say. But this is the pattern I see.

And then G-d says, "Come, let us reason together." That is a courtroom word. Let us try the case. But notice that He does not judge at the outset. He gives time. He gives room. Now that you have had space to return, have you used it? Though the sins were scarlet, He promises they will become white as snow.

A Lifetime of Walking

Let the wicked one leave behind his way, and the man of iniquity his thoughts; and let him return to Adonai, and He will have compassion on him, and to our G-d, for He will abundantly forgive.

Isaiah 55:7

Teshuvah is not a one-time event. It is not even once per sin. It is a lifetime of walking with G-d.

What does return look like if you already believe in G-d? You are not returning to believe in Him more. Here is the conclusion I came to. Returning to G-d means giving Him back every part of your life that you have taken from Him. Every time you grabbed the wheel and said, I will do it my way. Every room you have kept shut off from Him, teshuvah is opening that door and giving Him control of it. Every relationship you have damaged or let become damaged, teshuvah is reaching out to repair it.

Teshuvah is repairing the world. Teshuvah is making yourself a fitting dwelling place for the Most High, and making the world around you a fitting place for the Most High. Teshuvah is in every action you take. From the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep, you can be moving towards G-d.

And I will return my hand upon you, and purely purge away thy dross, and take away all your tin: And I will restore your judges as at the first, and your counsellors as at the beginning: afterward you will be called, The city of righteousness, the faithful city. Zion shall be delivered with justice, and her returners in righteousness.

Isaiah 1:25–27